Foundflashlight is my attempt to help other parents who are afraid for their kids.  Trying to bring some light to the darkness their teens are experiencing.  I don’t know if I have the answers you need.  I can’t say that I am telling my story successfully from the other side.  We are still in it and may always be.  But maybe I’m five minutes ahead of you and something I learned might make a day or a week or an hour just a little bit easier.  That is my hope.

I was a teen in the 80's. In stereotypical GenX fashion, there was a lot of figuring and finding out. I had the usual teenage angst and I had some good friends (thankfully) but I was suffering from depression and convinced that the world would be a better place without me. When a person gets to that point, they are not thinking clearly. I would have been telling the truth when I said that I knew that my family loved me but I would also have been telling the truth when I said they would be better off if I wasn't there. It wouldn't have mattered if rational people who I loved and respected told me differently; I wouldn't have believed them. Of course no one was telling me that because no one knew what I was feeling. I muddled through, found a thought to hold on to, and survived.

Years later I had a kid who was anxious as a young child.  When they became a teenager we found out (all at once) that they had Tourette Syndrome - talk about teenage angst.  Anxiety, depression, OCD - these are co-occurring conditions of Tourette.  My kid suffers with depression and suicidal ideations.  Sometimes the waves are devastating and I’m not sure we are going to make it through.  But my family holds on tightly and so far the waves have passed.

As my kid gets older and more independent, I have to let them navigate these experiences on their own.  Unlike me, they have some great therapists to help.  After a representative from the Suicide Prevention Hotline spoke at my kid’s school I learned that regular people can help, you don't have to be a specialist.  I know that everyone’s experience is different but I also know that I have been able to remain calm in tough spots and sometimes I have been helpful.  I wanted to help others.  Now I am a listener on the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  The skills I've learned in that training improved on what I had done instinctively and what I am hoping can benefit you.

The basic principle of the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is that you can “Listen People to Safety” and that is about as powerful a phrase as I have ever heard.