Finding the Light in Teen Darkness
Foundflashlight is my attempt to help other parents who are afraid for their kids. Terrified to say the word suicide for fear of making it come true. Dealing with kids who are hurting and who they don’t know how to help. Trying to bring some light to the darkness their teens are experiencing.
I'm Justine, and I help parents who have teens struggling with darkness and suicidal ideations.
I am just a parent, I’m not a professional. But I was a teen who suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts and I am raising a teen who suffers from those as well. This is what I have learned along the way.
FAQS
What should I do if my teen says they don’t want to live any more?
Remain calm. It is shocking to hear that your child could think about ending their life and it is normal to feel big emotions but it is your job as a parent to keep it together. Even though they assert their independence, they are still teenagers and are counting on the adults in the room to help them when they are feeling helpless. They need to know that you are up to the task of handling their pain and helping them move toward a solution. If you freak out, they will see you as an unreliable resource and won’t be as willing to open up. So take a breath, tell them you are sorry they are feeling so badly, and ask them if they want to tell you about it.
Should I call 911?
If your child has taken action to end their life either by ingesting something or seriously injuring themselves, call 911 right away.
If that is not the case, there are other choices that can be considered first. Suicide prevention is not one thing, it is a process that we hope will prevent us from needing the hospital. Call 988 or encourage your teen to call. Ask them what is hard for them and then listen. Be present and available but not overbearing. Start working on getting them some professional help, if that is an option.
What shouldn’t I do?
Don’t tell them that they have so much to live for. While that may be true from your perspective, they can’t see it right now and saying it invalidates what they are feeling and tells them that you are not interested in listening to what is difficult for them. If they have to justify that there is a problem before they even start to talk about it, they probably won’t.
